E038: An Easy Exercise to Help Build Self-Awareness with Amy D

A letter to build self-awareness is easy to do.

[00:00:37] This episode was going to be about a message that I could send to myself 10 years ago. I thought it was gonna be really poetic, it was going to be very beautiful and wonderful, and I was really excited to share it with you. Then I realized that this message isn't just a message to myself 10 years ago. It's actually a message for myself right now.

So if this is something that you are experiencing, I urge you to do what you need to do in order to get the help you need. And if you don't know how to do that. Please feel free to reach out to me at amy.demone on instagram or email me at amy@theempathyfront.com.

Here is a heartfelt message to myself. Or better yet, my hurt inner child that is really needing some extra love lately. It’s a way to build self-awareness.

Amy, I don't know where to start. We've been down this road so many times, this feeling of isolation, being alone, and misunderstood, and this yo-yo of coping and not coping. Of feeling on top of the world and then feeling like the world is suffocating you.

10 years ago you were a fucking mess. I don't care if I tell you that. And to see who you are right now is mind boggling. I feel like this part of me has watched you struggle and overcome so much, and I haven't done enough to remind you of everything that you've accomplished in your life.

[00:02:24] Now, I don't want to scare you.

I don't want to sit here and remind you of all the dark, dark places that you used to be.

But I do want to remind you that there's certain things that you still haven't overcome. In fact, there's still a few things that you haven't even discovered about yourself yet. Now, you're almost there and you're working through it, and I would lie to you if anyone is really ever anywhere that they think they need to be.

But I will say that the emotional distress that's going on in your life right now, it's hard, it's messy, it's unfair, but you're ready for this. You're ready to overcome what life has thrown at you and your family. Let alone the world.

And before you couldn't feel. You refuse to feel. It hurt to feel and build self-awareness. You were so scared that you would let your heart open to feel the pain that you had caused yourself. It hurt and you thought that you would fall apart. The difference now is that you feel. Reluctantly, but you do feel. You will allow the emotion and the grief that you have experienced throughout these last 15 years of your life to really sit there and you will experience them. But most importantly, you let them go at the end.

We're not really taught properly how to process emotion, especially heavy traumatizing, life-shattering emotion. And that's because nobody really knows. So whatever you've done and whatever you're doing, or better yet, whatever we're doing, know that you aren't alone. You will never be alone.

[00:04:15] The biggest thing that I want to remind you of is that you're not trying to arrive somewhere.

You're not trying to all of a sudden become exactly who you think you should be. That's not the purpose of life. 

The purpose of life is becoming okay with who you are and recognizing that your circumstance was decided for you long before you even realized. That biological, psychological, sociological, environmental lottery that you won? You had very little control in that.

In fact, you have a little control of a lot of your life. And in fact, a lot of your turmoil and anxiety has been you trying to control things that you just can't. But you're starting to let go of this, and I want to acknowledge your efforts in this.

But I urge you to get even more comfortable with change. Everything is changing, everything continues to change, and some of that change is not good. Some of that change is forcing out demons of society and of your past. If we keep hoping that change will not come, it will make everything that much worse. So, be comfortable. Be happy in the moments that bring you joy and have content in the times of turmoil, knowing that this too shall pass.

But most importantly here not doing okay. Stop pretending like you're okay. Nobody needs a martyr. Nobody needs a hero to come and rescue them and to destroy who they are for the betterment of the people. Build self-awareness for yourself.

[00:06:00]

To  use the cliche example of to put on your oxygen mask first, put on your oxygen mask first. Build self-awareness.

Get the help you deserve, and take care of yourself. And most importantly, stop pretending that you're okay. Build self-awareness and stop pretending.

It's actually a sign of strength to admit when things aren't going well. And sure, it seemed like you've never been okay, and all you want with all your fucking molecules of your body is to tell your friends and your family and your loved ones that, for once, you're okay.

But that's not who you are right now. And that's okay. This is really about being content with where you are and where you've come from, instead of being an adjunct against yourself about where you want to be.

You've done so well this last 10 years. And I can't wait for the next 10 years to come. But just like I gave you in 2020, I'm going to give you this advice.

And listeners, I'm going to give you this advice as well. Buckle up. The world's about to change, and a lot of us aren't ready for it. But, we're never ready for the change. So, get ready.